


Shining

by ryukoishida



Series: Life in Technicolor [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Modern AU, babysitter Eren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-10
Updated: 2014-07-10
Packaged: 2018-02-08 05:49:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1929006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryukoishida/pseuds/ryukoishida
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When his best friend Isabel passed away, Levi took it upon himself to take care of her only child. Then he realized how impossible the task was with his work schedule as an EMS paramedic. Cue the entrance of babysitter extraordinaire: Eren Jaeger, a college student who has the patience of a saint when taking care of children, but a hot temper when dealing with fellow adults.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shining

            Levi is never good with children. Sure, they act all cute and cuddly when they are happy and when their stomachs are nice and full, but when they throw tantrums for no obvious reasons (or reasons that are beyond Levi's knowledge as a full-fledged adult), god damn does Levi want to tear his hair out and wail into the sky out of frustration and despair.

 

            He never expects to have his own children.

 

            And he certainly never expects to have to take care of one, which is probably why, when he takes three-year-old Tristan Magnolia home that first night after a ten-hour work shift and the toddler starts to cry in his arms, he feels utterly helpless for the first time in years.

 

            He tries to give him some food – apples chopped in small cubes because kids like sweet food, right? – but ends up getting a face full of the fruit thrown back at him. He tries to distract the boy with the stuffed bunny he has been holding the whole time, but Tristan only wails harder. By the time Levi has ran out of ideas and is himself collapsed on the couch with the child held against his chest, the little red-haired boy is hiccupping, dried tears staining his rosy cheeks.

 

            "Mama," he mumbles, lips trembling and small hand making a grabbing gesture towards Levi's face.

 

            "Not your mama," Levi tells him, but indulges the child by giving him one of his fingers to hold onto. The boy has a surprisingly strong grip.

 

            "Mama," Tristan insists, and if he weren't crying nonstop for the last hour, Levi is certain that he's about to start again. Instead, the boy merely repeats his request for his mother, each call growing weaker and weaker until his green eyes blink heavily. Levi closes his eyes, enjoying the sudden silence in his apartment and letting himself rest for a bit; when he opens his eyes once more, he finds Tristan sound asleep, his breathing steady and lulling.

 

            "I know you miss your mama," he says softly, getting up with as little jostling as possible and heading towards his bedroom. His limbs feel heavier with every step. "I miss her, too."

 

            This goes on for the next two days. To Levi, whose longest interaction at a time with small children lasts less than three hours, those two days felt like two weeks filled with nothing but inconsolable sobbing and screeching. The apartment's manager had already rung him with four complaints from his next door tenants; he was sympathetic when Levi notified him of the situation, but he also knew that this couldn't last unless he wanted to get kicked out of his own place.

 

-

 

            "Levi, you look like shit," Hanji informs him the day he returns to work.

 

            He doesn't need Hanji Zoe, of all people, to tell him that. He can feel it from the soles of his feet to the top of his head: he's exhausted. He had maybe a total of six hours of sleep for the last two days and it's showing in the bags under his eyes and the paleness of his face.

 

            "Thanks Hanji," he replies, throwing on his uniform vest, "Observant as always."

 

            "How's Tristan faring?"

 

            "He doesn't like me," Levi says, flipping through the floor plans and important information on the location their team is supposed to station at in an hour's time. There's some sort of fancy anniversary dinner party for a high-end tech company at the Hyatt Hotel in downtown tonight. "He won't stop crying, and the only time he'll stop is either when he's eating or when he's too tired to keep crying."

 

            "He misses his mother."

 

            "Obviously," Levi scoffs, throwing the clipboard at the brunette, who catches it without missing a beat.

 

            "Who’s he with now?"

 

            "Petra's taking care of him today until I get off my shift."

 

            "You know, you can't keep doing this," Hanji says, a small frown appearing on her usually cheerful brows.

           

            "I'm not letting some goddamn strangers take Isabel's son," Levi snaps. "He's my responsibility now. I can find a way to deal with it."

 

            "Calm down, Levi," Hanji places a steadying hand on his shoulder, and she can feel his body shaking with irritation. "All I'm saying is that you've got to arrange something for Tristan – register him in a daycare centre or find a babysitter."

 

            "Oh, how I wish babysitters would just fall out of the sky these days," Levi drawls, "That would make everything so much easier."

 

            "You're no fun to talk to when you're tired."

 

            "I don't live to entertain you with my words."

 

            "What are you all still standing around for?" Mike Zacharius strolls past the two in a hurried pace. "Have you packed all the equipment into the car yet? We'll be off in ten."

 

            "Ai, ai," Hanji gives Mike a mock salute.

 

-

 

            "Is there something you need to report to me, Levi?" Erwin Smith's steel blue gaze is as calm as ever, but Levi has been working under the supervisor of the EMS team long enough to notice the rigid tuck in the corner of his lips and knows that as a sign of solemnity.

 

            "Not really, no," Levi stares at the spot of the wall right above Erwin's head.

 

            "Hanji's told me everything."

 

            "That nosy four-eyes..." he mutters.

 

            "She's only concerned for your welfare," Erwin interrupts before the dark-haired man can continue with his curses. "As am I."

 

            "Erwin, I can assure you: I'm fine," Levi says in a firm tone, his grey eyes cold with assertion.

 

            "The other night, you almost caused an asthma patient to have another attack when he was just recovering from one."

 

            "He was being an unreasonable asshole," Levi begins.

 

            "Regardless," Erwin stops him right there, his lips tightened into a straight line, "You know that didn't give you the right to lash out at him. We're professional first aiders – we save people's lives, not make their conditions worse. Your sleep deprivation has made you even more irritable than usual and it's affecting the quality of your work."

 

            Levi knows Erwin's right; he knows the few precious hours of sleep he gets these days are not nearly enough to make him competent at his job. He fights to keep his eyes open at times and has to chug multiple doses of caffeine in its various forms to keep his brain alert.

 

            "I apologize."

 

            Erwin lets out a small sigh, "I understand your circumstances. Just don't let it happen again." He slides a piece of paper across his desk and Levi picks it up, his brows quirk up at the name and phone number scrawled upon it.

 

            "Give him a call," Erwin suggests, "He's a family friend's son. I heard that he's a very capable sitter. He's been doing it since high school, so he has a few years of experience under his belt. He's a good kid."

 

            Levi silently nods in thanks.

 

-

 

            This is why, three days after the conversation with Erwin, there’s a gangly teenager with enthusiastic, bright green eyes and messy dark locks who's hauling an oversized messenger bag over his shoulder standing at the entrance of his apartment.

 

            "Hi, you must be Mr. Levi," the young man offers his hand and a smile in greeting, "My name's Eren Jaeger. It's nice to meet you."

 

            "Ah, likewise," Levi shakes his hand and quickly retrieves it.

 

            "And who's this?" Eren stoops down to talk to the little boy standing by Levi's side, who immediately tries to hide behind the man's legs, his hands grasping onto the fabric of Levi's jeans without relent.

 

            Tristan is slowly getting used to Levi's presence. He cries less often now and the only time he'd ask for his mother is right before he falls asleep on some nights, when Levi would read him a story book he found at a second-hand bookstore and when Tristan blinks drowsily back up at him, he would murmur a tiny "good night, mama" before his eyes flutter shut.

 

Levi wonders at times if maybe somehow, Tristan can sense his mother's presence. People do say that young children have a keener sense of sight and can see things that humans normally would not be able to see. He wonders if Isabel is watching over them right now, keeping an eye on her little boy and his new guardian.

 

            "My name's Eren," he tells the child gently, his smile softened and green eyes filled with warmth.

 

            "E-wen," the boy tries to pronounce it as clearly as he can.

 

            "That's right! Now won't you tell me yours?"

 

            "T-Twistan," he stammers and hides even further back against Levi's leg. Levi lays a protective hand over Tristan's red curls and takes a few steps back to let Eren in.

 

            "Let's talk inside."

 

            "Thanks," Eren stands up and follows them into the living-room.

 

            "So, Erwin told me you're good with kids," Levi starts once he's settled on the couch and the other man is sitting across from him, seemingly at ease. Tristan occupies himself with the train set on the floor close by Eren's feet.

 

            "Mr. Erwin's too generous with his compliments."

 

            "Is he wrong?"

 

            Something akin to surprise, and then annoyance, flashes across Eren's eyes, but he clears his throat to continue, his voice a hint tighter than before, "No. I've been babysitting toddlers and children for four years and I've never received a complaint from any of the parents or children I work with. I'm confident that my abilities can be put to good use in taking care of Tristan and this household."

 

            "Now you're just reciting meaningless statements from your cover letter."

 

            "It's not meaningless if they're true," Eren retorts.

 

            "You're right, of course." Levi gets up and stretches. He misses the way Eren's eyes linger just slightly longer than necessary on the sliver of exposed skin his lifted shirt has provided, or the blush that taints his cheeks when he realizes what he's doing. Tristan, upon seeing his guardian getting up, mirrors his action in a manner that has a scarily high degree of similarity to Levi. Eren can't help but laughs at the little boy's gesture, and after Tristan looks at him curiously for a few seconds, he's laughing as well, the sound bubbling happily out of his small, shaking body.

 

            Levi blinks, surprised. He's never heard Tristan laughs this openly and loudly since... well, since Isabel's death. He has almost forgotten what it sounds like, doesn't realize how much he misses it until he hears it once again – that happy, carefree sound.

 

            "Eren, you're hired," Levi has decided, wishing to Isabel's spirit – wherever she is now – that he's not about to make a terrible mistake in handing Tristan's well-being over to the hands of this near-stranger. Something in this kid's jovial laughs and the tenderness in his expressions when he interacts with Tristan lead Levi to believe that he's the perfect candidate.

 

            "What?" He turns to Levi so quickly that he forgets to avoid the incoming attack of Tristan's stuffed bunny, which collides squarely with his cheek.

 

            "Bun-bun kiss Ewen!"

 

            Eren chuckles, rubbing his reddened cheek and turning his attention back to the child, who's so amused that he's still giggling, hugging his bunny tight in his arms. He lightly touches the tip of the boy's nose, "And Eren boops Tristan's nose!", which earns him a delighted screech.

 

            "Did you say that you'll hire me?" Eren asks again, looking up at Levi's figure when Tristan's calmed down a little.

 

            "Problem?" Levi raises one of his brows, but it's a very difficult expression to uphold when Tristan is trying to clamber all over Eren and the man has to struggle to sit upright.

 

            "Uh, no, sir." Eren finally untangles himself from Tristan, who's now sitting close to the tall boy, his head lying contently against his arm.

 

            "I just can't believe I'll have to deal with another child," Levi sighs, pulling his work schedule out from his bag.

 

            "Excuse you, but I'm almost nineteen," Eren's voice is rising again, but then he seems to remember that Tristan is still there and he breathes out slowly and steadily. His eyes, however, are still as fierce and challenging as his previous words.

 

            "Still a teenage brat, then," Levi concludes. "Come over here and tell me what your schedule's like for the next few weeks." Eren refuses to rise to the bait this time, so he shuts his mouth and takes out his phone, on which he's stored his timetable. 

 

            When it's time to leave, having the next two weeks' schedule and payment all set up, Eren waves a cheerful goodbye to Tristan, who returns it with equal fervour.

 

            "Mr. Levi. I'll do my best," Eren tells him, a serious expression settled on his face.

 

            "Drop the 'Mr.', will you? It's just 'Levi'.”

 

            "Okay." Eren lets himself smile a little. "Thanks, Levi."

 

-

 

            The first two weeks, which Eren and Levi have agreed to be the trial period, go by as smoothly as Levi can hope. On days when he returns from work, he'd come home to find Eren and Tristan doing a variety of activities. One afternoon, they are doing finger-painting in the dining-room, which almost gives Levi a heart attack at first because there are splashes of blue and splotches of yellow on the floor, but upon closer inspection, he notices that Eren has thoughtfully covered the table and nearby floor surface with plastic sheets for easy clean up.

 

Another day, the two are sitting at the table and Levi sees the toddler doodling on a piece of paper with concentration; when he walks around to see what he's drawing, it's revealed that Eren has been teaching Tristan the alphabets because the boy saw him scribbling a note earlier that day and told Eren that he wanted to learn how to write like a grown-up.

 

            About four months into this arrangement, on one of the days that smell of early spring in the air, Levi steps through the threshold of his home into a music-filled chamber. Something too pop and catchy for Levi's taste is playing in the background, and when he enters the living-room, he discovers the two of them dancing – or rather, what appears to be dancing, but it's really just waving their limbs around loosely following the rhythm of whatever Eren has put on his mp3 player.

 

            It takes them awhile to notice Levi's presence, so as Eren and Tristan twirl around in their own little world, hands held together with Eren having to lower his body quite a bit because of his height, Levi takes this chance to snap a few pictures on his phone, chuckling silently at Tristan's excited and joyful expression and Eren's face flushed with exertion and mirth.

 

            "Oh, Levi! I didn't realize you're back!" If anything, Eren’s blushing even harder, probably thinking that the man has been watching them for quite some time. He's right, of course, but Levi isn't about to let him know that.

 

            "Didn't want to interrupt your dance party," he smirks, and catches Tristan in his arms as the child runs up to the older man, arms flailing wildly.

 

            "Uncle Levi, welcome home!"

 

            "I'm home," Levi replies, one corner of his lips lifted into a small smile.

 

            And it does feel like home, Levi suddenly realizes, in a sense that has a different meaning from before. Home was merely a roof over his head – a place he inhabits, to put his belongings in. There wasn't anyone waiting for him, and he didn't feel the need to have a person waiting for him to call a dwelling a home. Tristan has only been staying with him for about five months at this point, but already, Levi can't imagine the little boy living anywhere else.

 

            Eren Jaeger, on the other hand, is becoming a little more complicated that Levi is willing to admit.

 

            Don't get him wrong. The college student is definitely not bluffing when he told Levi on the first day of their meeting that he's good with kids; in fact, he and Tristan get on so well and have become so close in just two weeks that Levi is glad to have made the decision to hire the boy on the spot despite his initial impression of the seemingly immature teenager. The problem is that it appears Levi is already depending on him too much.

 

            There were days when he had to work overtime because of emergencies, and when Levi called Eren to let him know that he'd be a few hours late, Eren would only grumble half-heartedly but always stayed with Tristan until Levi came back late at night. He understood that Eren was not responsible for these extra working hours – he didn't have to stay, and he could have told Levi to arrange somebody else to take care of Tristan – yet, there was never any real complaining from Eren, just mumbling words about giving him a heads up next time he had to work overtime.

 

            "It's not like I can plan the emergencies around your busy schedule, brat," Levi had replied, and that just made the other man shook his head and laughed.

 

-

 

            "You're staring at that kid's picture and you're smiling," Hanji remarks from the driver's seat. "Stop it, you creepy old man."

 

            "Shut the hell up," Levi shoots back, but he can feel the heat floods on his face. He puts his phone back into his pocket. "It's a photo of him and Tristan." A few hours ago when Levi was still working, Eren's sent him a picture of Tristan and himself holding a baking sheet with dollops of cookie dough, with an attached text that said, "Tristan's wondering if the yummy smell of oatmeal and cranberry cookies will make you want to come home faster." Specks of flour dusted their faces and hair, which was what amused Levi and caused Hanji to make that unneeded comment.

 

            "You really like that kid, don't you?" Hanji asks.

 

            "I just wish I can do more for him," Levi said, staring out at the rain-streaked window. "With this kind of work schedule, I barely have time to do anything but watch him sleep."

 

            "I'm sure you're trying your best," Petra assures him from the back seat, but she's holding back a teasing grin. "And I don't think Hanji meant Tristan when she says 'that kid'."

 

            "Oh Petra, you know me so well!" The auburn-haired woman merely shrugs.

 

            "Hanji, you're fucking impossible," Levi says with a small sigh.

 

            "I hope you're not using that kind of language around Tristan," Petra reprimands him. "Kids pick up bad words and behaviours from those who are around them the most."

 

            "You don't have to worry about that," Levi responds, "The damn sitter had already given me a hard time about it way ahead of you."

 

            "Good to know that he's a level-headed young man, this – Eren, is it?"

 

            "Yeah."

 

            There are a few minutes of blessed silence, just the squelching of the window wipers against glass and drip-drops of this never-ending rain.

 

            "No, but seriously, Levi, you totally have a crush on that young thing, don't you?" The interior of the car resonates with a collected sigh from Levi, Petra, and Mike.

 

            "Will you please just give it a rest?" Levi groans, banging his forehead against the glass with a dull thud.

 

-

 

            "Hmm, it looks like Levi will be home late again," Eren declares after checking his phone. "So what should we do with these cookies, Tristan?" The two look at the plate of freshly-baked, steaming cookies with a critical eye.

 

            "Eat 'em all!" The boy throws out his arms in excitement.

 

            "You'll get a stomach ache if you have too much," Eren warns him, and the child frowns slightly.

 

            "Dun want tummy ache," he pats his own stomach with a contemplative expression.

 

            "Nor do I," Eren chuckles. "How about you and I each have one now, and when Uncle Levi comes back, you can share the rest of the cookies with him?"

 

            "Yeah!" He nods furiously, red curls bouncing messily. "Share with Ewen, too!"

 

            "Sounds good to me," Eren pats the top of the boy's head and he grins back happily at the teenager. "Now, what do we do before eating?"

 

            "Wash hands!" He runs down the hallway to the washroom and Eren hears water running. He proceeds to pick out two cookies, pours out two glasses of milk, and sets them down on the coffee table with a mat underneath.

 

            From the few months working in this household, Eren has learned that his employer is a – well, there's no better description than "clean freak". Everything in the apartment is spotless and organized – from the books and DVDs on his shelves to the dishes in the cupboards – and he attempts to keep it that way whenever he's cleaning up after their activities and meals.

 

            The digital clock in Tristan's room (which used to be Levi's study but had been rearranged since Tristan's arrival) reads 9:17 p.m. when the child is sound asleep. Eren puts down the Robert Munsch picture book and clicks off the lamp on the bedside table before tiptoeing out of the room.

 

            Levi texted him a few hours ago to notify him that he'd be back some time before eleven tonight, so that means he'll have about two hours to do some much-needed studying. He takes out his textbooks and notes to lay them on the coffee table and promptly begins to read. It really isn't his fault that Shakespeare is incomprehensible at this hour, with his mind swimming in 16th century language and eyes heavy with slumber.

 

            The next thing he knows is someone lightly brushing his bangs back; Eren groans, squeezing his eyes shut tighter and he immediately feels the other person shrinking back in surprise.

 

            "Eren, you awake?"

 

            "Huh?" He blinks, vision blurry for a few seconds before he can focus on the man before him. "You're back, Levi."

 

            "Yeah."

 

            Eren stands up to stretch, muscles taunt and joints cracking from not moving for such a long period of time. "God, what time is it?"

 

            "Eleven thirty," Levi replies, "Sorry I'm late. The traffic was shit in this weather."

 

            "Language," Eren reminds him, but there's no sting in his tone.

 

            "But Tristan's already in bed."

 

            "I'll let you off just this one time, then."

 

            "You're being especially benevolent tonight," Levi comments.

 

            "I'm too tired to argue with you, old man. Exams and long work hours don't mix well," Eren is putting everything back into his messenger bag.

 

            "I'm truly sorry - "

 

            "Don't worry about it, okay? I was just bitching because I'm tired," he rubs his eyes and slaps his cheeks lightly to wake himself up.

 

            "Language, Mr. Jaeger," Levi throws the words back at him.

 

           "Cut me some slack," Eren pats his shoulder, and Levi stiffens at the casual touch. In his sleep-deprived mind, Eren forgets that the man, with the many quirks he's still yet to learn, might take issues in that department.

 

            "I-I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking," Eren murmurs, turning to go. "Um, there are cookies on the kitchen counter that Tristan and I made today. They won't taste as good in a couple of days, so - "

 

            "Eren," Levi has wrapped his fingers gingerly around the taller man's elbow. "Wait."

 

            "What is it?" He looks down at the slender fingers, and Levi drops his hold.

 

            "You should take some of the cookies home," after a pause that is too long to be natural, Levi finally says, "it's too much for Tristan and me to finish."

 

            "Sure," he follows Levi back to the kitchen, with Levi popping a cookie into his mouth and balancing it between his teeth, while he throws a plastic container at Eren's general direction. Eren idly wonders if Levi can balance anything else in his mouth and he can feel the oncoming blush rushing to the surface of his skin. 'Damn it, get a hold of yourself.'

 

            "I never even thought to ask," Levi starts to say, "What are you studying?"

 

            "English literature," Eren places a few cookies into the container and takes a bite of one, glad that the conversation is dragging his attention away from Levi's lips.

 

            "You want to become a teacher?"

 

            "That, or child care worker." Somehow, they have migrated from the kitchen to the dining area, each of them holding a glass of water and sitting down across from each other.

 

            "You'd be great at both," he takes a sip from his glass.

 

            "Um, thanks," Eren doesn't know what to do; he's never really seen this side of Levi before. The older man's usually so impassive that he finds him incredibly difficult to read. That is one of the main reasons why working with children is easier than dealing with adults; most kids don't hide what they think. When they want to tell you something, they will do it whether you want them to or not. Sure, this might cause them to get into trouble at times, but their impulse to be straightforward and genuine is a trait that will disappear as children grow older.

 

            This is one of the times Eren wishes Levi would talk more about himself, but he doesn't want to pry, either. So, he waits until Levi decides to let him in.

 

            "Can I ask you something?" Eren treads carefully now, munching on his cookie in small bites.

 

            "Can I choose to not answer?"

 

            "Tristan – How did he come to your care?"

 

            When they started this arrangement, Levi merely told him that the child is a distant relative who will be staying with him for the next little while; he didn't specify how long, nor did he mention how distant the relationship extends. Eren didn't think it was in his place to ask at the time, so he didn't.

 

            He stares at his glass of water for such a long time that Eren is beginning to think that Levi's not going to answer.

 

            "Tristan's mother is – was – one of my best friends," Levi's gaze does not stray from the glass. "Neither of us have families we could depend upon, so we take care of each other; she was like a little sister to me – Isabel."

 

            "I never knew who Tristan's father was; Isabel wouldn't tell me, but that was okay. She was strong enough to be both parents," his head is lowered, the bangs covering his eyes.

 

            "She passed away in a car accident," Levi says quickly, his tone too cold, too poised, "I don't think her family even knows she has a child, so I took Tristan in."

 

            "Does Tristan know that his mom is...?"

 

            "I tried explaining it to him, but I don't think he understands the concept of death yet."

 

            "His life's just begun after all," Eren takes a sip from his water.

 

            "Aren't we all just waiting to die the moment we're born?" Levi asks drily.

 

            "You know, being emo is not really your thing."

 

            Sharp grey eyes glare at Eren, who merely stares back at him. After a few seconds, Levi snorts, "You're absolutely right. Emo state should be reserved for teenage brats like yourself." Eren doesn't bother with an actual response.

 

            "I should probably go," Eren glances over at Levi, who only nods, "It's late."

           

            "This is really good, by the way," Levi says after swallowing the last bite of his cookie. Eren grins as they both get up, and despite the obvious tiredness evident on his face, he looks young and vulnerable when he's like this.

 

            "Tristan will be ecstatic when he hears you say that."

 

            "I'll make sure to let him know tomorrow."

 

            "See you on Tuesday," Eren is about to leave.

 

            "Hold on, there's uh, crumbs," Levi gestures vaguely around his face. "Come here."

 

            Eren doesn't even hesitate as he steps closer to the older man, who has to strain his head in order to be able to look up at him.

 

            "You even eat messy like a child," Levi mutters, finger lightly brushing the few stray crumbs off the corner of Eren's mouth. Later, Eren would blame his drowsy brain for noticing the way Levi's finger lingers at his mouth and his lips are definitely not trembling from his touch; Eren would further deny that his breathing is coming out in short exhalations and his tongue most certainly does not dart out to catch a taste of his skin.

 

            "Not a goddamn child," Eren states quietly, lowering his body so that his eyes can be at the same level as Levi's. At this distance, Eren can see slices of the other man's life he doesn't like to share: the hint of creases at the end of his calculated, slanted eyes shows the estimate of his age, the bruised shadows and bags under his eyes indicate many long, sleepless nights, and the tilt of his thin lips presents a challenge, a dare. Eren bends his head a fraction of an inch closer, dark hair falling into his eyes so that Levi can't read him.

 

            Levi's hand, shaking a little, delicately brushes the stubborn locks aside, and it looks like Eren is having a difficult time deciding his next step of action, perplexity dances across the depth of his sea-green irises.

 

            "Eren," he closes his eyes, the tone of his voice tense and guarded, "have a good night." Levi takes a small step back, letting his breath out, arm falling listlessly beside him.

 

            "Y-you, too," Eren replies, spell suddenly broken and everything comes rushing back to him in an engrossing wave. He needs to get outside or he'll suffocate from the sheer physical reactions his treacherous body is currently experiencing. He breaks into a run when he hears the door closed behind him, and he doesn't care if he's on the sixteenth floor – he's taking the stairs.

 

            Eren needs some time to process what's just happened, and more importantly, his face needs to stop doing the thing where it glows warm and bright red whenever he's in close proximity with Levi. It's growing more and more difficult to control himself now, and he's not sure if he even wants to anymore.

 

-

 

            "Don't you think you're way too emotionally invested in this kid and his dad?" Mikasa asks, picking up a teddy bear from the shelf and inspecting it with suspicion, as if she's expecting it to sprout an extra head.

 

            "Uncle," Eren corrects her immediately, snatching the bear from his best friend's hand and places it back where it belongs. "Levi is Tristan's uncle. And buying a birthday gift for a child doesn't make me 'too emotionally invested' – you make it sounds like it's a bad thing. It's called caring about other people. Maybe you've learned about it in kindergarten?"

 

            "You never bought gifts for the kids you babysit when you were in high school," Mikasa points out, and then her attention turns to a very expensive-looking train set, "Oh, how about this?"

 

            "No! He already has a train set," Eren wrinkles his nose. "Like you said, I was in high school; I couldn't afford to buy presents for every kid I babysat, could I?"

 

            "Uh-huh," the black-haired woman still sounds unconvinced, but that's not the reason why he's standing in an aisle of a toy store.

 

            "They invited me along to the birthday outing," Eren explains, sighing in exasperation, "What do you want me to do – just show up empty-handed?"

 

            "Where are you guys going, anyway?"

 

           "Water park," Eren replies, smiling at the memory of the little red-haired boy's polite request a few weeks ago. "Tristan's been begging Levi to take him ever since he realizes that there are parks with water on slides."

 

            "Hey Eren," Mikasa's voice turns a degree darker, her thin brows furrowed, so Eren knows to take her seriously when she uses that tone.

 

            "What is it?" Eren faces her.

 

            "Just be careful, okay?" she places a gentle hand over his, and he automatically laces his fingers with hers – it's a childhood habit that neither of them seem to be able to break out of. "And you know I'm talking about that Levi fellow."

 

            "I really appreciate your concern, but sometimes, you worry too much, Mikasa."

 

            "I'm just watching out for you."

 

            "I know," he gives her hand a tiny squeeze, then lets go. "Thanks."

 

-

 

            When he shows up at Levi's doorstep the morning of Tristan's birthday, Eren doesn't expect that he'd need to spend time alone with the other man. Ever since that incident three months ago, there hasn't been any opportunity for the two of them to interact alone for a long period of time. Either Tristan is still awake and is tackling Levi once he gets home from work, or it's Eren making excuses to get out of the apartment as quickly as he can without tripping over his own feet and embarrasses himself even more.

 

            Neither of them seems willing to talk about what happened that night, and the longer they leave things unsaid, the more awkward they feel about bringing the topic up in a conversation. In the end, everything stays the same. Eren still comes to work with a smile on his face, and Levi still occasionally teases him and calls him “brat” whenever he deems appropriate.

 

            "Good morning," Eren greets Levi, who is still dressed in a pair of striped pyjama pants and loose tank top. Eren tries not to let his gaze linger too long on all that exposed skin, or let the fact that the too-big shirt is slipping off his left shoulder distract him from his task. The man's usually cropped black hair is having a life on its own, flying in different directions before Levi has time to tame it.

 

            "You're too early," is Levi's response as he shuffles back further into his dwelling. "What's all this?" He glances at the plastic bags Eren's brought with him.

 

            "Lunch."

 

            "Going all out, huh?"

 

            "Birthday is a special occasion, and it requires special arrangement," Eren starts to organize ingredients on the counter, but taking a glance at Levi's dark circles around his eyes, Eren comments, "You look like you can use some coffee. Late night?"

 

            There's a small pause before Levi answers, "Yeah, something like that." The kitchen is not a spacious area; the two men keep accidentally almost running into each other, or their elbows might brush and Eren mutters an “excuse me” while Levi just grunts. By the time Levi has a cup of steaming coffee in his hands and he's settled on the other side of the kitchen counter on a bar stool, watching Eren build sandwiches from scratch, which in itself is a very fascinating thing to observe as Levi notices the little frown on the boy's face and the lip biting when he's concentrating, he feels more awake.

 

            "Isabel's mother called me last night."

 

            Eren almost drops the knife he's using to chop tomatoes. "What?"

 

            "She and her husband want to take Tristan back," Levi continues, the volume of his voice growing as each word falls from his lips, dripping with distaste, "After they know of Isabel's death, they ran a background investigation on her and they trace it back to me. Now they are demanding me to hand over their precious grandson so they can take good care of him like they did with their daughter."

 

            "Levi?" Eren may not know the man well, but it's the first time he witnesses Levi's voice crumbling, like layers of his wall disintegrating to reveal a man who's more sensitive, more fragile than anyone has expected. His outstretched hand hovers uncertainly over Levi's, not knowing whether it's alright for him to be doing this. Not sure if Levi will let him.

 

            "What do I tell Tristan, Eren?" His grey eyes are stoic, but the trembling of his hand holding the coffee cup and the way he clenches his teeth have betrayed what little control he has.

 

            "Mornin', Ewen," the toddler appears by the kitchen entrance at this moment, rubbing his eyes and yawning, his bright crimson curls flattened by sleep.

 

           "Good morning, birthday boy!" Tristan waddles over to Eren and hugs his leg sleepily. The teenager chuckles, tapping the top of his head lightly, "What's wrong, sleepy-head? Are you ready to go to the water park today?"

 

            "Yeah!" Tristan's eyes brighten at the mention of the park, clearly awake now, and dashes to the washroom for his morning routine. He yells a "mornin', Uncle Levi" as he runs by and the man ruffles his hair as his reply.

 

            They don't have a chance to discuss the previous topic, nor do they have the time to ponder upon it as they get ready for the day's trip. By the time they get there, the sun is high in the sky and families flood the water park. After setting everything up on the grass field, where little white daisies dotted the greenery, Eren helps Tristan change into his swimsuit and strips himself down to only his swim trunks.

 

            Levi swallows hard as he takes off his own shirt, his gaze searching for nothing in particular on the ground so that he doesn't have to look at all that tan skin, taunt muscles, and willowy limbs. It's enough that on some nights, his mind wanders off to those ridiculously vibrant green irises and soft, smiling lips; maybe Isabel is punishing him from heaven for having these thoughts about a man thirteen years his junior.

 

            "You don't go out in the sun much, do you?" Eren is putting sunscreen on Tristan's back, who's wriggling around and screeching, "Tickles! Tickles!"

 

            "I don't like crowds and I don't like summer," is all Levi says.

 

            "Tristan, why don't you help Uncle Levi put on some sunscreen? We don't want him to burn to a crisp," Eren squeezes the cream into the boy's eager hands.

 

           "Must protect Uncle Levi from evil sun!" Tristan splatters the liquid all over Levi's back before he can protest, and he yelps at the sudden coldness on his heated skin. Eren covers his mouth but his body is shaking with laughter. Levi narrows his eyes, yet he can't find it in himself to actually be annoyed.

 

            An hour and a half of playing on the water slide, with Eren and Levi taking turns holding Tristan from behind and the child screaming in delight as they swoosh down, and splashing around in the shallow pool later, the trio return to their spot on the field for lunch. Tristan happily munches on a square of ham and cheese sandwich as Levi passes Eren a bottle of water.

 

            Eren tilts his head back to take a long drink from the bottle, and no matter how hard Levi tries, no matter how much he tells himself to look away, he can't. Levi bites harshly into his apple as if it has personally offended him.

 

            "I think," Levi looks over to see Eren chewing his bread thoughtfully, and he swallows before he continues, "I think you should do what's right, and what's best for Tristan. If you think Isabel's parents are not fit to take care of Tristan – which you seem to know for sure from experience – then you should try your hardest to do whatever's best in Tristan's interest. You're the closest thing to a family he has now."  Eren gives him a small, encouraging smile.

 

            "He has you, too," Levi reminds him.

 

            "I'm just a babysitter," Eren shakes his head, looking away. Wet locks still plastered on his forehead, making him look even younger, "I don't count."

 

            'But you do,' Levi wants to tell him in earnest but the words get stuck in his throat, the sudden rise of emotion choking him in a way that makes him lost all sense of direction. Tristan watches Eren with interest as the boy starts to pluck out the white flowers surrounding them.

 

            "What are you doin'?" Tristan wants to know, putting his apple juice aside so he can sit closer to Eren.

 

            "You'll see," Eren grins, waving a stray piece of stem at him. Within a few minutes, he places the completed flower crown over the child's head, the white petals like stars in the waves of his red hair. Tristan claps his hands in delight.

 

            "Teach me how to do it, please? Want to make one for Ewen and Uncle Levi," Tristan grabs onto Eren's arm, sparkling green eyes blinking up at him.

 

            "Sure. Let's start by gathering some flowers first, okay?" Tristan nods and quickly totters around, picking flowers and dumping them into Eren's lap. For the next half hour, Levi pretends to read while peeking over the top of his book occasionally – alright, it's more than occasionally, more like every couple of minutes – as Eren patiently teaches Tristan how to weave the flowers together without breaking the stems. His fingers are nimble and delicate as they work with the blossoms; Levi vaguely wonders what it would feel like to let those same fingers caress his skin.

 

            He forces his gaze down to the meaningless jumble of words on the page before he can let that image overtake his mind.

 

            "All done!" Tristan announces with exuberance, first placing one crown over Eren's head, then putting the other one over Levi's with as much care as a four-year-old can manage. It sits lop-sided on the man's black hair; combined with the slightly helpless expression on his usually stoic face, the sight has a strange discrepancy to Levi's regular image.

 

            "Pretty," Tristan points to Levi with a satisfied grin.

 

            "Very pretty," Eren has to agree with a solemn nod, but his eyes are filled with mirth. "Picture time?" He digs out his phone from his backpack.

 

            "Eren..." There's a warning tone to Levi's voice.

 

            "Please, Uncle Levi?" Tristan looks up at him with those round, pleading eyes.

 

            "Please, Levi? For the birthday boy?" There's a playful pout to Eren's lips that's almost mocking.

 

            "... Fine." Eren and Tristan share a triumphant high-five.

 

            "Ready? Three, two, one, say 'cheese'!"

 

            "Levi, you look like you're in so much pain," Eren laughs, handing his phone over to the child and his guardian to see the resulting image.

 

            "Now Ewen come into the picture, too,” Tristan pulls on his arm insistently.

 

            "I-is that alright?" He sends an uncertain look towards Levi.

 

            "Birthday boy's the boss today," Levi shrugs.

 

            Eren takes that as a "yes" and awkwardly manoeuvres himself to sit beside the smaller man, with Tristan settling in between them. The moment has a painfully familiar feel of taking a family photo, which is ridiculous, of course, because Eren is merely a sitter hired by Levi; their relationship is restricted within the professional realm and there should be nothing more than that. But as Eren positions his phone to make sure all three of them are in the frame, his body unavoidably leans closer to Levi's and the heat from his pale skin should not have burned Eren as if it was spreading a wild, uncontrollable flame inside his body.

 

            It should not feel like he's simultaneously being set ablaze and drowning when he's barely having any physical contact with the man. It should not feel this pleasant when it should have hurt.

 

            "Three, two, one," Eren's voice is quiet as he clicks the button at the same time as Tristan shouts, "trees!" Levi and Eren both try not to burst out in laughter at that, but Tristan has looked so determined.

 

            "Trees?" Eren cracks up.

 

            "Trees sounds like cheese, and trees are more tall and cool," Tristan reasons, not really comprehending why the two adults are so amused.

 

            "If you say so," Eren pats his head, eyes soft and full of fondness.

 

            As he watches Eren and Tristan laughing at something he's missed, and then looks down at the photo Eren has taken, Levi realizes that he doesn't want to let this go – Tristan's jubilance and Eren’s company. He's a selfish man – he knows that, and it has never bothered him before. He believes in fighting for things that matter, and right now, these two are the most significant people in his life. If he has to fight the world to keep them, he'll gladly do so. This, he has decided.

 

            It's early evening when Levi has tucked Tristan into bed. The child was so exhausted after a day full of sunlight, food, and physical exertions that he almost falls right to slumber the moment his head hits the pillow.

 

            "Thank you for coming with us," Levi leans against the front door's frame, stature visibly relaxed. "Tristan had a lot of fun. He can't stop talking about how he wants to go back to the park again while I was giving him a bath, but honestly, you'll spoil him rotten one of these days."

 

            "It's his birthday. He deserves some spoiling for one day," Eren chuckles. "How about you?"

 

            "What about me?"

 

            "Did you have fun today?" A playful smirk graces his lips.

 

            "Other than the public pool filled with germs and sweaty crowds, yes, I did have a good time," Levi allows a tiny quirk of his lips to indicate his contentment. "Oh right, I almost forgot... Overtime payment."

 

            "Don't," Eren puts a firm hand over Levi's arm that's reaching his back pocket for his wallet. The movement brings him closer to the older man than either of them have expected. He lowers his head, embarrassed, but he still hasn't let go of Levi's arm yet. "You don't need to..."

 

            "Eren?" Levi takes his hand and holds it in both of his, movement surprisingly gentle.

 

            "I came along today not out of obligation," Eren's gaze is still averted, but the hand that Levi's holding is shaking. "I came because I want to be here. To celebrate with Tristan. With you. Because..."

 

            Because somehow, without Eren really realizing it, he has stepped past that line between being considerate for a client in the professional sense and at the deep end of being emotionally attached to them – to both Tristan and Levi.

 

            "I care about the two of you," Eren lets the words come flowing out, and he has no intention to stop. The sensation is overriding his reason, and he can't find it in himself to give a damn in the slightest. "I know it's not professional of me to say shit like that, but over the last few months, I've come to know Tristan so well, and even though you rarely talk about yourself, I can't help but - "

 

            "Eren..." Levi tries to interrupt.

 

            " - want to learn more about you, and this is really stupid, god, I'm such an idiot for - "

 

            "Eren, will you just shut up for a sec?" With a hand under the taller man's chin, Levi forces Eren to look at him properly, his eyes wide and bright green as he stops talking long enough for Levi to let out a sigh.

 

            "Are you paying attention?" The grip he has on Eren is firm but not painful; Levi needs to make sure that the other man understands his intention.

 

            "Uh-huh," Eren swallows drily.

 

            "Good." Levi pulls on the collar of Eren's shirt and he goes down without resistance, their lips colliding rather unceremoniously at the sudden force. Whatever words that Eren still wants to say are lost somewhere between Levi's persisting tongue in his mouth, the relentless dragging of fingers through his messy locks, and the way Levi's entire frame shudders in Eren's embrace.

 

            Eren walks them back into the apartment, fingers entwined and lips still connected, as Levi's back hits the nearest wall with a hollow thud. Lowering his head further, Eren licks a line up the side of his slender neck, softly biting at the skin there and enjoying the quiet whimpers and the almost painful grasp of his shoulders.

 

            "W-we should stop," Levi whispers, breaths coming in short bursts as he gradually releases Eren's shoulders. "Might wake Tristan up."

 

            A reluctant whine comes out of Eren, but he straightens himself up, leaning his forehead against Levi's instead, and both of them close their eyes to relish the reality of the situation. When they can breathe easily again, Eren dips his head to places a chaste kiss on Levi's mouth – gentle and mischievous at the same time – and steps away with a bashful grin, a shade of red dusting his cheeks.

 

            "I'll see you tomorrow, Levi." There's no sign of hesitation in Eren's youthful voice as he picks up his bags from the ground and heads towards the exit again.

 

            "Eren." Just the sound of his name coming out from Levi's mouth is tempting. He turns around and waits.

 

            "I won't let those bastards take Tristan away," Levi says with a matter-of-fact tone, the cold and crisp voice reminds Eren of the first time he met the man who always seems so uncaring and apathetic, except his bond with Tristan and his unconditional love for his best friend's child runs stronger and deeper than anyone can anticipate. “And Eren… you _do_ count.”

 

            "I know.” There’s a sense of understanding mixed with the warmth of his smile that spreads first from his lips, then to the spirited green of his eyes. “And if you two ever need me, I'll always be here. Always.”

 

            "I know."

 

            Levi watches Eren go, knowing perfectly well that as long as he’s willing to wait, he will always return to this home. 

**Author's Note:**

> There you go! My first SnK fic. I feel somewhat proud of it, but there are so many talented writers in the fandom that I feel a little intimidated posting it here. Anyway, I hope y’all enjoyed it as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it.


End file.
